When you touch another man sensually or erotically, are you aware of the type of touch you are using??

I teach couples to broaden their touch skills and to consciously use different type of touching. Light touch is one of my favorite types of touch. I have heard it called "The Velvet Touch" or "The Love Bath". However, I think of it as a light, tingly, and electrifying touch. The best way to practice learning this is by yourself. This way you can be the giver as well as the receiver. You get a lot of information to work with... and you know what works for you.

So, try this touch exercise:

Forearm Position Up
Extend your arm; palm faces up. Slightly bend your elbow.

Fingers Of The Other Arm
Use the fingers to gently touch the extended inner forearm.

Light Touch
Rest your fingertips at the wrist. Touch the hairs slightly above the skin.

Stroking
Use a long linear movement to stroke the inner arm from wrist to elbow crease.

Slowly
Use the slowest movement possible. Repeat movement several times.

Report your experience.. by adding to this blog posting with your response.

Erotic energy is such a creative energy. Not only can erotic energy be used in sex but you can learn to use that desire, that motivation to do many things.  I want to share with you a drawing I received  from a great artist in New York City. I bet that he channels erotic energy to create things.... even an Austino genie.

There is a new series on HBO. It is a story of three couples who are in couple's therapy. Catch it if you can...

I got a call from a man who said. "Tantra is that thing where you don't cum, right??. I dont like that."

Tantra is quite an encompassing subject, not really one specific thing. Here is a little more information for you.......

Tantra.com says... "Developed in India, Tantric practices were at their height between 500 to 1300 AD. Today Tantra is a living system designed to promote rapid growth towards enlightenment. Tantra's components include yoga, meditation, deity worship, whole-body health, and Ayurvedic medicine." (www.tantra.com)

There are 64 ancient arts in white tantra. They includes a wide range of artistic thing done with more passion and  consciousness: singing, dancing and so much more. Check this out  ---> 64 Arts on----- Tantra Temple.us

There are also another 64 arts of red tantra, which is about Tantra Sexuality. The Kama Sutra is the best know book for this.

"The Kama Sutra details many kissing techniques, the Sixty-Four Arts, courting practices, modes of touching including biting and scratching, sexual positions or asanas, how to treat marriage partners as well as consorts, the concocting of aphrodisiacs, and much more." (www.tantra.com).

There is a Gay Kama Sutra. I find it to be a good coffee table book.

"Many people able to reach deep ecstatic sexual states liken these to transcendental spiritual experiences. They discover that the distinction between the physical and the spiritual is not as clear as they were taught. They may even feel that they have come to know God, or ultimate reality, through sex. Tantra Yoga and the Kama Sutra both view sexuality as vital aspects of the path to enlightenment." (www.tantra.com)

Within all these specific practices and exercises, and in light of slowing down and enjoying pleasure longer and not trying to rush things with sex and solo sex.......there is something about waiting a while longer to ejaculate.

As you can see it's not a sound byte.

Today's news ---------------  Apple cuts the price of the iPhone 200 bucks.. and I laughed.

I just bought the phone a week ago. I have been buying Apple products for 10 years, and it seems I have a perspective on Apple. My thoughts say.... that every time I buy something it is replaced by something better shortly after my purchase. It is just my perspective, not really a reality, but it does look like reality.

So I wanted to wait to buy the new iPhone until the newer version came out, but I couldn't wait. Besides, my phone broke and I needed something now...  teehee ......  so I jumped at the chance to own an iPhone.

One week later I am laughing at my perspective.  I am glad that laughing. I would prefer to laugh than cry.

Jacking Off      vs       Self Pleasuring

Joseph Kramer mentions in his masturbation coaching courses that statistic show that 80% of men masturbate while in fantasy, or on the computer, or watching a porn video.  I know many who have their video cued up to their favorite scene to  streamline things, and to ejaculate in 3 minutes or less.

Self Pleasuring is an inward experience. I want to feel my body, I want to touch my body, and feel many different sensations. I often set an intention for my own slower and longer solo sessions. I like to see how delicate I can be, or discover a new way of using my hands, or how close I can create as much intense feelings a possible, as many times as possible. Slowing down is the my main things. It is an act of self love to slow things down. Sure it can be hard to slow down, but who doesn't need to slow down a bit???

So sometimes I choose to jack off, sometimes I choose to pleasure myself and take my time, more often I am choosing self pleasuring.

The first few days of practice was really difficult because I wanted to keep it up.... . oh yes, doesn't every man...

After many days, I have become one with my hoop. I can feel the movement, and I can keep the hoop up for as long as I want. Honestly,  this is a great way to connect with your sensuality. It is also a great workout and especially for the abs.

I hope to video myself sometime soon, get it onto Utube.

Taking Care Of Myself.

One thing I am noticing since my intensive retreat this summer... is how important it is to take care of myself, even more than I do now. I am beginning to take my own personal practices to the next level.  I have often felt that I take good care of myself. I eat well, sleep well, and exercise. I have my yoga, my meditation, chanting, Qi Gong and Tantric practices too.  I am pondering how this can be ---upgraded.

Since I give so much of myself in private sessions it is important for me to be at my best. I prefer to be totally present with my clients so I need to  take care of my needs  - first.

Many clients who are givers and provider find it hard to grasp that we need to take care of our needs first so that we can fully give to others. It really is not a selfish things. It is a selfless thing.